A thorny story
by the21digdig
Summary: To rescue sleeping beauty, a gardener must risk his life to help the brave prince. Except the prince is a real whiner, and all the old gardener wants to do is get home to his wife. Had he really sleep 100 years?


A thorny story: A Sleeping Beauty Tale

Chapter 1: Woken

A hand shook Yaron awake from the deepest sleep he had ever had. "You, sir. Wake up." He heard a voice say. Yaron could barely process anything through the cloud in his head.

"Huh?" Yaron said, spitting the disgusting taste in his mouth out. Grabbing a drink from his wine skin, he looked at the stranger.

The stranger looked to be in his teens, with fair skin and brown hair that came up to his eyebrows before being cut short. His brown eyes were sharp but lazy. His clothes were expensive looking, and hinted he was a noble. But why would a noble even talk to him? The nobles he knew, except their majesties, would barely even acknowledge his existence.

"I, Prince Rubio of the kingdom of Jupina, have come hearing the legend of the sleeping princess. Is this true? I heard her hair is as bright as gold, and her beauty is known throughout the lands. I have come to rescue her and marry her when she falls in love with me." The prince's eyes grew to worship as he talked of the legendary sleeping princess only he knew about.

"We don't have no legendary sleeping princess around here, highness." Yaron said, thinking the prince must be dense. "We do have a lovely princess who just turned sixteen, though. Maybe you're talking about her."

"No, no, no. The princess in the legend is a hundred and sixteen." The prince said, looking like even more of an idiot in Yaron's mind. "You must have been sleeping for what, a hundred years?"

"A hundred years?" Yaron grew silent as he stared at the empty and quiet landscape around them. It had felt like a deep sleep, but a hundred years?! Nah, that couldn't be possible. The prince must be lying, or crazy.

Then he noticed the rose vines, thick with thorns, climbing and growing all over the castle. With the light of dawn making the roses seem beautiful but scary, Yaron shivered. So it was true. But how? He fought the instinct to cream 'what the hell is going on here!' as he took a deep breath. What about his wife? Was she ok?

"He-hem." A quiet cough came from the prince. "I believe you were about to tell me where the princess lives."

"In there." Yaron pointed at the castle, noting that the prince became white looking at it. "Are all the people in the kingdom asleep?"

Prince Rubio cleared his throat, like a court player about to tell a tale. "The legend goes like so: A hundred and sixteen years ago, an evil fairy cursed the princess to die. A kind fairy changed the curse, which made her fall asleep instead. But not until her sixteenth birthday. Then she fell asleep, only to wake by true love's kiss."

He looked toward the castle. "It seems the princess isn't in dire need of rescuing. Umm, I suppose I shall have to come back another day. Too bad!" Prince Rubio smiled guilty.

"Wait a moment! How did you save me?" Yaron shouted. "Why are you leaving? I thought you were going to save the princess."

"And as for how I woke you, I just said 'you sir, wake up.' It isn't science. Just a simple wake up call." He looked a bit annoyed, but then became nervous again. "I-umm, I have an allergy to roses. I swell up if touch them, and well, a big pink balloon isn't all that princely. So I will come back after my allergy becomes magically cured!" The prince waved, eager to be off.

Yaron frowned. "But all the fairies disappeared at the princess's coronation, sixteen years ago. All the magic has left the world."

"Oh, I didn't think of that!" The prince rubbed his head thinking. What was the best way to get out of this looking as princely as possible? "Oh!" He cried, as an idea came to him. "Chop down the thorns for me!"

"What?! But isn't the rescuing prince supposed to do that? I'm an old gardener!" Not that old, Yaron added inside his head. Only fifty nine, but rumor is that castles enchanted, and I hate magic. But maybe I can wake up my wife, he thought a second later, excited. I haven't had her tea in a hundred years. I think its overdue.

"Don't you want to become a hero?" The prince asked. "I might become your king if I marry the princess. So think of it as helping your future king!"

Yaron groaned as he followed the prince's "Onward!" Why had he even woken up?

Yaron followed Prince Rubio to the castle, though it was quite tiring having to keep up with the prince's horse, Mane. She was a very fast horse.

"So!" Prince Rubio said, waving his arms around the thorns. "Chop! Your future king commands you to!"

Yaron sighed and got to work with the ax he had grabbed before running after Prince Rubio. The problem was, as he saw after cutting down some of the vines, was that they just grew back, time after time.

At least the work gave him time to think. Had he really been asleep for a hundred years? It was hard to comprehend. It felt like a fantasy. But as much as it felt like a dream, Yaron had a feeling the prince wasn't lying. The evidence was everywhere he looked. The worst part? He would have one hell of a job, taking care of the gardens now. Maybe his wife would be willing to help him. After she woke up, that is.

"Curse you, you irrelevant plants!" Yaron heard prince Rubio behind him.

Yaron sighed. "Come on, please!" He said to no one. Almost immediately, the plants retreated, and he felt something say to him 'you could have just asked.'

"Ha-ha!" Prince Rubio patted his shoulder, grinning broadly. "My talking finally wore those plants down, huh? I am a true hero!"

Yaron couldn't believe the selfishness of Prince Rubio, but all he wanted was to go home. To see his wife again, and drink her delicious tea. Even her screeching voice would comfort him. The prince shouldn't need his help anymore, right? At least now his wife would wake up.

A roar of a dragon sounded from the castle. Prince Rubio, who was dismounting Mane, fell off completely as she galloped away from the noise. But even she was less scared than prince Rubio, who screamed and hid behind Yaron.

Yaron was petrified, but he almost laughed when he heard Prince Rubio's high pitched scream and winced a moment later when Prince Rubio ducked behind him, his nails digging into his back.

"Save me." Prince Rubio whimpered. Yaron sighed and tried to calm his frazzled nerves. His wife had told him of a bit of castle gossip a few years ago, when the princess turned ten. There was a defense magic made hundreds of years ago so if someone ever broke in, a dragon's roar would make them run away. It had stayed a secret for years, but somehow it had gotten out when the king became a bit drunk. Yaron had never believed her, until now. But the dragon was so realistic!

The prince whimpered again from behind him, and after being dragged out of sleep and along with this stupid prince, Yaron was not in a giving mood. So he decided to have a bit of payback. "Stay behind me, your highness." He said, trying not to laugh and barely succeeding. "I have been taught by expert dragon slayers. Do not panic. Well, you can panic a little bit. This one sounded big."

Yaron felt the Prince's grip tighten on him, and he suppressed a smirk. This was fun. He was going to have a tale to tell his wife when he was done.

As they made their way up through the castle, Prince Rubio's killer grip relaxed a bit. Yaron heard him muttering under his breath things like "This is not princely of me!" and "I wonder how long it will take for the princess to fall in love with me?"

"I hope she never does." Muttered Yaron under his breath. "I shudder at the thought of you as my future king." Prince Rubio didn't hear him because he was looking for the princess.

Prince Rubio entered another bedroom and immediately became entranced by the sight of the sleeping princess on the bed.

Her hair was in a wave around her face, and she wore a golden circlet on her head, which matched her golden hair. She had soft pink lips and skin fairer than the prince's, if that was possible. She wasn't drooling or snoring, which was a miracle in itself. Yaron had lost track of the time his wife had kept him awake with her bone-jarring snores.

Prince Rubio approached the princess, entranced by her beauty. As he got closer, he knelt beside her bed and kissed her with passion.

Nothing happened. Prince Rubio looked around franticly. He had done everything correctly. What went wrong? He had been a perfect prince charming!

"No!" He wailed, so loudly that birds cheeped in protest. "This wasn't supposed to happen! Wake up princess!"

An expression of disgust settled on the princess's face as she slowly opened her sky blue eyes. "Who's wailing like a baby?" She asked, her voice musical.

Prince Rubio shut up. "This pesky gardener is, your highness." He said, gesturing to Yaron. "He couldn't stop wailing when I defeated the dragon, too."

"Hey!" Yaron said, forgetting he was speaking to royalty. "You were the one wailing, not me! I helped you both with the thorns and the pretend dragon when I could have gone home to my wife!"

"Pretend?!" Prince Rubio's voice rose a few notches.

"Be, quiet, both of you!" The princess said, pressing her hands to her temples. "I have the vilest headache."

"Are you in love with me, princess? Will you marry me?" Prince Rubio asked, getting down on one knee.

The princess sighed. Her soft golden hair seemed to sway in the breeze, but the look in her eyes was ice. "Only if I must. I hope not. And I wasn't woken by your kiss, but by your wailing. Your voice woke me. So you must not be my true love after all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a kingdom to run." Brushing dust of her skirts, she swept out of the room, leaving the two men who had worked so hard to save her behind.

The End


End file.
